Friday, November 11, 2011

A Farewell to my Favorite Vampire

I know it's been awhile, it's just that I have IRL stuff now and everyone should be happy for me :D

Still resisting everyone's calls of "Join facebook!" (It wants me to capitalize it. No chance, spellchecker.)

This is a nostalgia post. And also a chance for me to pop the search keywords into the internet.

So today I found myself searching myself again. This happens once in awhile since, secretly (not so secretly?), I am sort of a self important egotist. (But seriously isn't that why people blog, because who reads this shit anyway?)

When I was a lonely, scared little girl in foster care I developed my very own alter ego. Someone who had been through mostly the same shit that I had been through but was strong enough to fight back. Who was lovable and cute but who also had tiny little fangs and tiny little claws for fighting back. I didn't realize it at the time but this character was my escape. I wrote stories about her, drew pictures of her and her made up friends, and eventually she grew and grew until it seemed that sometimes I /was/ her. I wanted to be strong and be able to fight the dark and those who meant me harm, etc.

So the vampire Zenite Sanka was born.

When I was out of foster care and living with my mom for a year until moving in with Jane I discovered I could escape into my little vampire girl on the internet, through the wonder of AOL roleplaying chat rooms. Oh the fun I had with numerous other lively characters. We created a chat room together called "The Vamp Hunters Pub", originally made by our friend Mace, who played a jaded, grizzled old hunter that he dubbed Wyatt. We played together almost every day, typing out scenarios that left us lost to our minds and the keyboards for hours into the night. We met nervous werewolves, quick thinking mages, halarious drunkards, quiet priests, randy demons and all flavors of supernatural that people could dream up. I made friends with Hunter Wyatt, Hunter Jordania (Jordy luls), Vampire Anthony, Marcus the Mage, and Lobo the Werewolf. Serious friends. Anthony and Lobo's mun and I used to do three way phone calls once in awhile and shit on into the night about how life sucks (we were angsty little teens at the time.) The mun that played Wyatt recently got into contact with me and we ran a small roleplaying session on MSN, though it wasn't the same and we quit after awhile.

A large portion of my life belongs with the character that I think it's time to hang up. I'm pretty sure I'm strong enough now that I don't need to imagine her anymore. But still, she's left a fingerprint on the internet that I had to smile about. I had to type this blog post because I feel just so restless about it. Reading the old roleplaying sessions that I happen to have saved makes me feel restless and creative and I have no outlet. Or at least I feel like I have no outlet for what used to be a roleplaying addiction, luls.. Oh, also I feel like I should mention me murder killing my Queen of the Damned and Music of the Succubus Club CDs whilst I was in my teens. Pretty sure I played them until they melted off my CD player (Sorry Megan :o! )

Without further delay, the relics of a buried vampire.

Vampire Anthony's Site

Zen's tiny blip (When I was bad at the internetz)

Zen's Old Old Old Bio

Also it's not weird that I roleplayed. If you'd never heard of it then I'll have you know there are plenty of adults that still do this. Albeit in nerdier and more complex ways now that they are older, ways that include number crunching -shudder-.