Morgenstern, my journey with IPL begins and HOUSE CHICKENS!

So I was reading this blog here because I have nothing better to do than cyber stalk people that I don't know IRL but are somewhat close to me (helloo gumtree, I know what you guys are selling!) So yes, I'm reading this blog and it appears to me that I've neglected something important. Apparently everyone needs to know what I'm currently listening to. So here goes. I hope you all knew I was this weird before posting this.

Brain Error-Nekromantix
Jonathan Davis/TheCure-Make me bad & In between days
Die Antwoord-Expensive Shit
Rammstein-Gib mier deine Augen
Oomph-I'm going down
Oomph featuring Nina Hagen-Fieber
Apocalyptica featuring Nina Hagen-Seemann
Devin Townsend Project-Vampira
Feuerschwanz-Zehn kliene Ritterlein
This 'Nosferatu Tribute'

That is a pretty strange mix, I'll admit.

Music has always heavily influenced my life in many ways. I must say that Rammstein has had, by far, the heaviest influence on my life so far. Where would I be if I hadn't heard the song Amerika when I was 16 and asked my uncle why they sang about my country that way? For certain that song opened my eyes to corporate greed and how it had taken over the world, made me doubt a little bit that not everything was apple pies and sweetened iced tea.

The song that's been overplayed and exhausted in my house and is finally coming to the middle chorus in my life is Rammstein's Morgenstern.

"She's so ugly that it gets dark 

when she looks into the sky
Then the light is frightened
It shines into her face from below
So she must hide during the day
She just doesn't want to scare the light
She lives in the shadows until the glow fades
She sees a star shining in the twilight and pleads
Paint beauty onto my cheeks

Morningstar, oh shine
onto the visage of mine
Cast a warm light
onto my frightening face
Tell me I'm not alone
Ugly, you are ugly"

This is my song, especially at the moment when I'm dreading tomorrow.

Tomorrow I'm going to my first appointment for IPL to get the hair removed from my face and I'm not so sure it's going to be a walk in the park. It's definitely time for it, Janine and Alan have stepped up to help me on my journey into hair-free land and I could not be more grateful. It is ungodly expensive and the manager of Smooth Synergy assured me that since the hair is caused by hormones that it is definitely not 100% but it will cause a huge reduction and she would know because apparently she could have grown a goatee in high school. Well that is definitely reassuring though because her face was as smooth as a baby's bottom, let me tell you.

END DEPRESSING POOPSIEDWABBLES

　 ／l、

ﾞ（ﾟ､ ｡ ７

　l、ﾞ ~ヽ

　l、ﾞ ..ヽ

　じしf_, )ノ

THIS IS THE STORY OF A NAUGHTY BURDEN 
(bird+chicken=burden)

Once Upon a time there was a mob boss named Little Boy and a mob wife named Bearded Lady. They loved each other in the way that only chickens can love and took many dust baths together through out the day. 

Lady was one tough little chicken and was top girl in the Naked Neck pen, even though she herself was indeed not so naked. She protected her eggs and once she found out her spot was discovered she quickly found another place to lay in peace.

Until the Giant Human Person came along and found her secret nest, chock full of goodies!

 Blackie has become the resident house chicken and lives in her own private condo above the rabbit's hutch. She comes in through the door at 5:30 each night and peeps loudly on the kitchen floor until we give her her own private dinner. That night it was bits of bread with milk and tea. All over my floor. -loud beak wipe-

 Megan also gets fed and spoiled to hell sometimes;karma for years of canned tuna with ramen noodles. Thanks Sun and Christine, we had a great night :)

Coming out of the closet (bathroom) with my beard

So recently, if you are one of the 7 people who follow and actually read my blog, you may know that Jarrad and I purchased a house together. What you may not know is that we've invited backpackers to stay in our spare rooms. We have Lisa, a really sweet blonde German girl, and the two recent additions of Connie and Fiona, who I'm pretty sorta sure are Tai girls. They are also awesome because they love Crayon Shin Chan and recognized the figure I have in my room of him.

So I've been sprouting hair in the oddest places since I was about 11 but no place has been odder and more horrific than a manly little beard I've got going on, for reals. I was totally addicted to shaving when I was in my teens, and while you'd think this would help, it only serves to make the problem more obvious since industrious shaving habits create awful red razor burns and hair that grows back much thicker and much faster. If you check out the pictures of myself that I've posted on my blog you can sort of see the irritated areas around my neck from shaving but if I don't shave I would never ever leave the house. When there was no one else staying here I would plan my week around shaving my face, since leaving it for a day or two lessens the irritation caused by shaving religiously every single day. At the height of my obsession I would shave twice a day and still not go outside more than I had to.

It is really embarrassing to notice people looking. I was always called names like 'wolf girl' and 'ape girl' in school, before I learned to bleach, wax, or shave. The new backpacker lady staying, Fiona, seems to be quite curious, as I can totally see her checking me out out the corner of my eye. You sort of have to build up an immunity to people looking and sometimes I will just tell people outright like, "Hey, I have PCOS and I have tons of hair in shitty places because of a hormonal imbalance -insert awkward and comforting smile-"

When I was in Armadale there was a woman there that I chased down because she didn't shave and was around my age. I thought she was super super brave because of it, but she turned out to be a really ugly personality on the inside and I really felt sorry for her and tried to become friends only to be shut out in the cold by her. I understand that though. Sometimes I just wanna lock myself inside and never come out again. When I catch people looking while I'm waiting in line a McDonalds or someplace it is really hard to know what to do. Do I wave at them? Do I fucking smile or scowl or shrug? That is alot of the reason while I wear sunglasses in public places, I don't want them to know that I know they're looking.

So get rid of it, you say? It's expensive, I hear, and doesn't always work. Two weeks before I got married I let it grow out, hiding inside the house the entire time, and then took a train into Perth city to try and get it waxed. That was probably one of the hardest things I've ever done, going out with it very obvious looking like that. I remember huddling up in my hoodie and avoiding eye contact with everyone on the train. The waxing people were super friendly but no matter how hard they tried the hair just would not come out of my face and they finally stopped when it started taking skin. So then I had to march my ass through town and get back on the train with a super red neck and chin with awful, thick hairs sprouting out of it. Really wanted to pass out or something. So if you check my wedding photos the skin damage is there, though Michelle, Jarrad's bestie, did photo shop some for us :P

Anyways! There is no way to really wrap up this post, except to give the awkward smile I give when explaining the furrball issue :)

Also I'm super tired of explaining my anosmia to everyone, I can't smell!

The End.

P.S: Plucking doesn't do it for me, try plucking a hair from your husband's beard and see how he reacts to it.

P.P.S: Crunchie has also found something he really really likes about the new girls.