Friday, November 11, 2011

A Farewell to my Favorite Vampire

I know it's been awhile, it's just that I have IRL stuff now and everyone should be happy for me :D

Still resisting everyone's calls of "Join facebook!" (It wants me to capitalize it. No chance, spellchecker.)

This is a nostalgia post. And also a chance for me to pop the search keywords into the internet.

So today I found myself searching myself again. This happens once in awhile since, secretly (not so secretly?), I am sort of a self important egotist. (But seriously isn't that why people blog, because who reads this shit anyway?)

When I was a lonely, scared little girl in foster care I developed my very own alter ego. Someone who had been through mostly the same shit that I had been through but was strong enough to fight back. Who was lovable and cute but who also had tiny little fangs and tiny little claws for fighting back. I didn't realize it at the time but this character was my escape. I wrote stories about her, drew pictures of her and her made up friends, and eventually she grew and grew until it seemed that sometimes I /was/ her. I wanted to be strong and be able to fight the dark and those who meant me harm, etc.

So the vampire Zenite Sanka was born.

When I was out of foster care and living with my mom for a year until moving in with Jane I discovered I could escape into my little vampire girl on the internet, through the wonder of AOL roleplaying chat rooms. Oh the fun I had with numerous other lively characters. We created a chat room together called "The Vamp Hunters Pub", originally made by our friend Mace, who played a jaded, grizzled old hunter that he dubbed Wyatt. We played together almost every day, typing out scenarios that left us lost to our minds and the keyboards for hours into the night. We met nervous werewolves, quick thinking mages, halarious drunkards, quiet priests, randy demons and all flavors of supernatural that people could dream up. I made friends with Hunter Wyatt, Hunter Jordania (Jordy luls), Vampire Anthony, Marcus the Mage, and Lobo the Werewolf. Serious friends. Anthony and Lobo's mun and I used to do three way phone calls once in awhile and shit on into the night about how life sucks (we were angsty little teens at the time.) The mun that played Wyatt recently got into contact with me and we ran a small roleplaying session on MSN, though it wasn't the same and we quit after awhile.

A large portion of my life belongs with the character that I think it's time to hang up. I'm pretty sure I'm strong enough now that I don't need to imagine her anymore. But still, she's left a fingerprint on the internet that I had to smile about. I had to type this blog post because I feel just so restless about it. Reading the old roleplaying sessions that I happen to have saved makes me feel restless and creative and I have no outlet. Or at least I feel like I have no outlet for what used to be a roleplaying addiction, luls.. Oh, also I feel like I should mention me murder killing my Queen of the Damned and Music of the Succubus Club CDs whilst I was in my teens. Pretty sure I played them until they melted off my CD player (Sorry Megan :o! )

Without further delay, the relics of a buried vampire.

Vampire Anthony's Site

Zen's tiny blip (When I was bad at the internetz)

Zen's Old Old Old Bio

Also it's not weird that I roleplayed. If you'd never heard of it then I'll have you know there are plenty of adults that still do this. Albeit in nerdier and more complex ways now that they are older, ways that include number crunching -shudder-.


  1. These characters have all imprented themselves on my heart as well. I am Robert Torres, I played Lobo and his half Brother Marcus with you. I still look back on those times and smile. I hope things are going well for you and that our paths may cross again. Take care


    1. I miss you, loco lobo :P I remember the hours we spent on the phone, bitching about absolutely nothing. Mucho loves at you <3333 Pheee!

    2. I miss you as well. As awkward as those times were, they were actually pretty good. I have been thinking about you for years. I had hoped that things were going well for you, but by the looks of your blog, you are! Congratulations on getting married! I myself am engaged and have set a date for June 1st 20013 ( She is a redhead, of course, lol!). So you are living in Aussie land huh? That is awesome! It seems like you are having tons of fun and are surrounded by people who love you. I am so happy to hear that the horror stories are over. Speaking of which, I am now a writer for White Wolf Publishing and have helped bring their game Exalted to be the fan favorite it is today! I am very glad that everything is going so well for you! I subscribed to your blog here, so I will be around ^.^. Take care and much love!


    3. WHAT THE FUCK! You are kidding! (not about the beautiful ginger, that's a given.) Gah! I can't believe you write for them! How did you end up tripping into that? Ahhhhh, you're getting married! Bwuahaha. (Make more redheads.) I am having fun, loads. Pilates is tonight *dying face* Zomg you have to keep in touch 'cause I wanna see wedding pictures in a year!

      *ecstatic rollan'*

  2. No kidding! I have been sending them my writing for a very long time, but most of the time I got a " This is cute, but its not what we are looking for", but about four years ago I got a bite and one of my articles was published for Exalted! Since then, I have been brought in as one of the core writers for White Wolf's Exalted line! It is demanding, but very fun! If you ever take a look at some of my work, you may find some places and characters in it that are strangely familiar ;-). I will absolutely send you some wedding pictures, my friend! ^.^ . She dyed her hair black though!! I'll always love her, but RED HAIR DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh well, I know its there! Sorry it took so long to get back to you! I am glad that you did not disappear into the sands of time, and am so happy to hear that your life is so great! I had been worried about you for a long time and hoping that everything was okay, and everything is!

    ~ Robert

  3. P.S: this is ridiculous. My new e-mail is I
    did try to look up your work (of course) and I got like a million
    different Robert Torres peoples. Everything is totally okay with me!
    I've been too busy to write about my Z-baby or do a blog post because
    I am like working working working and we're in the middle of selling
    our house and buying a new one! Don't tell anyone but I'm totally in
    love with chickens and am making plans for a start up business with
    them. Send me some pictures, yaaaaay! And tell me how I can get a hold
    of your work, I'm so proud of you; your life has turned out amazing,